The Shame Behind ‘Low Libido’

We often treat libido as if it were a light switch, on or off, working or broken.

But desire is rarely that simple. It’s shaped by mood, memory, history, relationships, hormones, power dynamics, and emotional safety. And when it drops, the most common response isn’t curiosity, it’s shame.

People say:

• “What’s wrong with me?”

• “I feel broken.”

• “My partner thinks I don’t love them.”

Low libido isn’t always a problem. But the meaning it carries, especially in a culture that equates sex with love, health, or status, can feel devastating.

Psychosexual therapy offers a space to explore not just what’s happening, but what it means to you. Sometimes desire hasn’t disappeared; it’s just gone underground, tangled up with pressure, resentment, body image, trauma, or unspoken fear.

Therapy doesn’t promise to restore some ideal version of your sex life. But it can help you listen to your desire — where it’s gone, what it’s asking, and whether something else needs tending first.

Dr Sam Reawood
Reawood Psychotherapy